Week 69 - I must've done something good

Merry Christmas everyone! Joyeux Noël!

This week we sang SOOOO much, that was a kind little gift from God because the Guadeloupe Christmas songs are SO fun. We sang at a hospital, we sang for members, we sang for a whole lotta old people, we sang for homeless people in a service where we passed out meals to them.

Okay 2 (long) things

1) I wrote a letter on Dec 22, 2022 addressed to ME on December 25, 2023 and WOW it was an answer to prayers honestly. Here's 2 lines that were BAM revelation: "I hope that in the year 2023 you've developed a recognizable relationship with God, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost and that you remember that you can find yourself in your relationships with others." sometimes I lose myself. So it helped to remember that I'm not alone for a reason. Other thing "you don't have to feel the truth on command for it to exist" OOOHHHH MANNNNNN that one saved me. 

2) Ive started to reread my old journals and speaking of singing, there's something I found from November 6, 2022 that stuck out to me. It was when I was serving in the other branch on Guadeloupe and one of the members was trying to convince me to play the piano for the branch, but I was adamant that I couldn't, arguing that I can't read notes, I only play by ear. Her response was: "if we are practicing, we will always succeed. You might not know the notes, but you know how to play."

As the year comes to an end, I've been looking back on my missionary service. One of the biggest commandments that I've struggled with is "fear not". I've seen that in my actions as I've struggled with obedience, in the sense that I've been "too" obedient. Meaning, I tend to cling to the "law" maybe a bit more than I do to the "Law Giver". Music has been the hardest thing for me since day 1 that I set foot in this mission, because we are a principally based mission, so the rules on music are (in short) :

"anything you want as long as you can feel the spirit and your companion is okay with it" 

And that was SO hard for me! I WANTED a black and white answer of "is this song okay or not",I wanted to be able to say "yes I am obiedent and I can prove it because I listen to xyz not ABC" I wanted the lower law, so to say.

But I found that trying to live by some distinct "right and wrong" law only brought me to judge others, and judge myself even harsher. Not good. 

And so thanks the ENDLESS patience from everyone around me, I've learned to let go of the "pass/fail" version of the law (which is scary, cus then it feels like your failing) and trust that it's my desire that counts, and Jesus is the one who saves me, not my own actions. Though faith without works is dead.

So this morning when I got some music from my family as a Christmas gift, it really touched my heart. Because going back to what that member said Nov 6, 2022, I learned that we are all born with the ability to "play", or in other words, to choose. To act. We ALL can choose within our hearts to follow Christ. And by practicing, we are acting on that choice. We may not know the notes. We may have so many problems and issues and flaws but AS LONG AS YOU JUST PLAY, as long as you practice, you WILL succeed. Success is a long process that has NOTHING to do with perfection. 

So I was absolutely CRYINNGGGG as I listened to the Sound of Music soundtrack and heard the line "when you know the notes to sing, you can sing most anything!" it was a strong feeling of "look how far I've come! 12 months ago I would've NEVER listened to that kinda music out of FEAR, but now I listen to it and it's out of LOVE and it actually HELPS me and my faith in God !" At the beginning, I (metaphorically) didn't know the notes, so I did NOT want to play, no ma'am! But in this past year, I've learned to just START PLAYING, and in doing so, I've learned the notes! And I've been comfortable and confident with them. I've learned how "music" serves me, not the other way around.

I hope you can all see what I'm trying to point to, it's all about Jesus Christ. Just pretend I articulated all that clearly... I give up

Just think Jesus Christ redeems us by getting us to start playing. Then He enables us by teaching us the notes as we play. BOOM symphony. 

"Thus Alma did teach his people, that every man should love his neighbor as himself, that there should be no contention among them." the law is meant to bring peace, not contention 

I felt the Spirit very strongly while taking the sacrament because Yvrose's daughter (in the red sunglasses in the pic) Anaïssa was laughing and "playing" with me and GOSH DANG. Jesus loves the little children and SO DOES SŒUR FELT

That's all

Week 68 - 🎶ALLEZ MON VOISIN‼️‼️‼️‼️🎶

Last night I called Frère Maugran's (favorite person ever, member in Martinique) mother as she is an inactive member here in Guadeloupe and we had such a funny conversation. She's all like "your name is so rare! Did your mom invent it?!" on the inside I was like "no I'm just American" but what I actually said to her was "yes"

Didn't help when she asked for my sister's names and they were all FRENCH. Irony.

Not even an hour later I received a mysterious message from an unknown number. It was infact, frère Maugran

Hm well as for this week guess WHAT. December 16th, we pulled up to the hospital and sang to like 2 ladies let's GOOOOO (Dec 16 is the day my brother got a heart transplant and so each year we do service on that day so I was very happy to do some type of hospital service this year)

THEN I talked to nurse lady gal and we will now be performing like a concert this week?! ALLEZ MON VOISIN ALLEZ ALLEZ 

D&C 93:27,33-34 Keeping the commandments is when our spirits connect and agree with truth :

"And no man receiveth a fulness unless he keepeth his commandments. For man is spirit. The elements are eternal, and spirit and element, inseparably connected, receive a fulness of joy; And when separated, man cannot receive a fulness of joy." 

We had some people come to church and that was great for them

Just me, her and, the moon 

I'm definitely a big complainer in my emails but I do want to say that this week I've learned a lot of things that I wouldn't have learned if I wasn't still here. I've learned more about myself and about God's truths and I wouldn't have been able to do that if it wasn't hard so all is well

Cheese of last week: goat cheese

Cheese of this week: munster (?)

Picture of a pallet in honor of Spencer's heart anniversary pallets

Week 67 - Stayin alive

(I'm going nowhere) (somebody help me) 

Every single morning this week, I woke up and wished I didn't. It was like "NOOOO I'm still here I can't take another day"

And then GUESS WHAT miracles happened whaaat woah so shocking it's just like every missionary email ever 

A huge one was this mom and daughter we met that were extremely prepared. That day, I was not feeling well but we still somehow made it out the door. Everything was just not at all going how it normally does. Yet somehow we found ourselves seated as this mom explained how 24 hours before, she had ripped up her Bible and decided she was DONE with God because life was too hard. We talked for like 2 hours and by the end, she had completely changed her mind, it was really cool. My favorite part was when the conversation split and my two companions were talking with the mom and then I was talking with the 15 year old daughter. I just really really love working with youth and kids, I don't know. It was very miraculous for me; being in a position where I could make her feel comfortable enough to open up and make her feel heard, and then just be supportive, idk it was just really good. Pic of them (Maria and Keurslane) included

INT: Apartment #4

AFTERNOON

Marie Claude welcomes sister Felt, sister Nwaka, and sister Kaberry into her home. As they enter, Marie Claude begins by having them put on shoe covers. 

Marie Claude: the second thing we do when we enter my house? We wash our hands! 

The sisters wash their hands and eventual all sit down in the perfectly clean living room with classical music in the background. They proceed to get bashed.

*2 DAYS LATER*

Marie Claude has read all of 1 Néphi, 2 Nephi,  and 3 Néphi. As in the books not the chapters.

WHAT

Moi j'y crois pas.

Crois pas qu'elle progressera

Week 66 - All is well in Guadeloupe

Had zone conference this week that was pretty great, the Bickmores (our mission president and his wife) are incredible and great examples!

I've decided that I'm going on a cheese grind, for the next 4 months I will be trying all the French cheeses I can so that I can be an expert

Had some cool lessons, had some uncool lessons

OOOOHHH SUZETTE (her sister actually) HAS THE BOOK TWILIGHT!!! BUT OBVIOUSLY IT'S IN FRENCH, I DIED! I WAS LIKE GUESS WHAT STEPHANIE MEYER IS A MEMBER AND SHE WAS LIKE WHAAAAT! So maybe she'll come back to church if she knows stéphanie goes. that was fun to freak out over Twilight with her. Very fun! 

The Book of Mormon uses the word "equity" more than "equality" I've noticed